ARIZONA OR BUST

This is officially my last week here in Utah.  I leave at the end of this week.  As much as I don't want to, I have to.

I want you guys to know that I made some good friends and I will miss you guys.  I am going to be taking this site down, too, and making a brand new one.  I figure new year and new life, a new Xanga site.

So I look forward to more fun and good times from you guys.  I'll just be that much farther physically.

Love you.

PS.  Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA0X5cv4P1Y       

Parker Brothers present: Syndicate Monopoly!

TAKE A JOURNEY THROUGH THE LIVES OF UTAH’S SYNDICATE!

Make the journey from the humble beginnings of the original Fun Unlimited to the corporate fast lane in this special edition of the classic MONOPOLY© Game.  Gather power and wealth as you move in and out of these territories, crashing and living at each Halfway House, and building friendships.  You may even acquire relics such as the failed female inclusions into the Syndicate properties like Melanie, Joy, and Heather!  And you can attain some rare properties in Provo, the Hot Binks Boys!  One is powerful enough but the two properties combined triple your money and your good looks!  Become the most powerful player throughout Provo to be the winner!

Play the classic version or make use of the High-Tech Gadget Figurine and the special die included with the special Rags-To-Riches Scott Keller Mode:  You get 3 times the money, 3 times the power, and you finish 10 times faster!  Taunt your friends when YOU get to the top!

THIS COLLECTOR’S EDITION INCLUDES:

• Over 25 Collectible Tokens that include World-Traveling Jason, both Computer-addicted and the incarcerated version of Danny, Nice-kid Greg and Hardcore Greg (glued to the new Kristen token), Underage-Girl-Totting’ Jamin, Whirlwind Bonnie, Wandering Silas, the Masters of the Universe Trio token, the Shaneway House token, a Size-One, No Big Deal Forrest, the Excessive Alcohol and puke token, and the special no animal by-products Joe Figurine made with hardened tofu!

• Full Color Gameboard

• Title Deeds Representing Territories Throughout Provo And The Syndicate Members

• 32 Plastic and Vegan-friendly Houses, Hotels, and LAN computer set-ups.

• PEOPLE and EVENT cards replace the classic Chance and Community Chest cards

• Railroads have been replaced by women of the Syndicate that just quite didn’t make it!

• 1 Special High-Tech Gadget Figurine

• 1 Special Rags-To-Riches Scott die

• 2 Standard die

• 1 Bag of goodies that include drugs, alcohol, downloaded movies, games, music, and Anna's Wisdoms Vol. 1!

PLUS special trivia questions on the back of the PEOPLE and EVENTS cards that will keep you coming back for more!

Call now!  Operators are standing by!

Certainties

There are minimal absolute truths and few certainties in life, dying being one of them.  We all die.  We also shit and pee, breathe oxygen, and fill our bellies with grub.

You know what's certain for Danny?  Whether it be a flat tire, some random bad phone call, two-day diarrhea, or working on Christmas eve,day, and on New Year's, it's always a shitty end of year and one shitty Christmas.

On a happier note, I managed to jack off at work again.  Twice.

I hope this next year works out for me.

Christmas Party Stats

Out of a possible 100:

Alcohol and drinks available  = 100

People physically at the party  = 100

Street Fighter Mini-Tourney  = 100

Group Picture  =  100

Out-of-Hand Drunkeness  =  -375

________________________________

Adds up to some good times.

Random Save For The Win!

Somehow I saved this random conversation and scrolling through my shit at work, found this golden nugget:

Long-Haired Bastard says:

How was YOUR day?

Delirium says:  

It was alright. Thanks for the pizza.

Delirium says:

I really do like you sometimes.

Delirium says:

And then sometimes, I hate you.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!!

Delirium says:

WHAT is going on?

Delirium says:

I think I missed out on something… funny.

Delirium says:

Yes, I definitely did.

Delirium says:

Ah, shutting doors on me now.

Delirium says:

That's just great.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

You are the QUEEN of shutting out the world.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Screw you!

Delirium says:

My door has been wide OPEN for the past like, 5 days straight.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Like your legs!!!

Delirium says:

Why is your door closed?@?!?@?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

OOOhhh!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Snaap!

Delirium says:

No, they've been closed!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Your legs are like WalMart:  They are open 24/7!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And you can get some good, cheap shit!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

yeah!!!

Delirium says:

Yeah I wish people took advantage of that shit more often!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Me too.

Delirium says:

But it's like a 24 hour walmart that no one visits.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!!!!!

Delirium says:

And that is sad

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!!!!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

OMFG!!!!!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Wow, that's hilarious.

Delirium says:

So who all are you talking to right now?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

All my MSN bitches and ho's.

Delirium says:

Ah, I See.

Delirium says:

No wonder your response time is so slow.

Delirium says:

Okay you know what? I'm shutting my door.

Delirium says:

Just because your door is shut.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

omfg!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

I did NOT shut my door.

Delirium says:

I tried to be open…

Delirium says:

And not shut the world out…

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Jamin came in and it shut on its own!

Delirium says:

But what good is that?

Delirium says:

When you guys are shutting doors left and right?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

bullshit.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

You even LOCK your door!

Delirium says:

Yeah, well you should have thought about that shit and opened your door.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

At least mine isn't locked 24/7!

Delirium says:

Mine hasn't been locked for like 3 days now!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Whatever!

Delirium says:

Only when I'm changing!

Delirium says:

That's IT.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

If you were on the island with the rest of the Lost survivors, your name would be Jane Locke!

Delirium says:

Oh my god.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOCKE!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Your name would be fuckin' Jane Locke!!!!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And you would hole yourself up in that cave...

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And find a giant boulder and roll that shit closed!

Delirium says:

Oh my god!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And then all the men would kill each other because they would ALL want to bone you!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And then you would say something like "okay, I am giving out Bonnie poontang to the first person to get me the fuck off this island."

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And then the show would be over.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Because you KNOW someone would figure that shit out and get you off the island and then get off on YOU!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Ooohhhh!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Snaaaaaap!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Of course, they would have to unlock your door, Ms. Locke!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And somehow there would be little secret friends forming...

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And secret alliances.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Those FOR Bonnie and those AGAINST you.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And you would be the most popular AND most hated person on the island.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And you'd get the most ratings ever.

Delirium says:

Wow, sounds like my life.

Delirium says:

We should have a t.v. show.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And the season finally would be your legs finally opening...

Delirium says:

LOL

Delirium says:

To who?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

and them finding a penis!!!

Delirium says:

Oh snap.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!!!!!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Or, wait!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

No.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

The season finally would be YOUR trap door light turning on!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

OOHHHh!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Yeaaaah!

Delirium says:

Double snap!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And they would say something like "Who's got a flashlight?  I'm going in!"

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And they would go down your trap!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And it would be deep.

Delirium says:

Hahaha

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And dark.

Delirium says:

And.. amazing?

Delirium says:

Yeah.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And go on and on and on.

Delirium says:

That would be one sweet season finale.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Just fleshy walls on all sides...

Delirium says:

Then I would finally... get some, I think.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And some weird smell.

Delirium says:

Gross!!

Delirium says:

Stop right there!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And then, yeah.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

Whoever that muff diver was, he'd get some.

Delirium says:

Hey Danny, I have a big favor to ask of you.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

And it would be some of the best sex of his life.

Delirium says:

I mean, really big.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

[sigh]

Long-Haired Bastard says:

What is it?

Delirium says:

Okay, no laughing.

Delirium says:

Haha.

Delirium says:

No laughing, okay?

Delirium says:

Can you download the movie 'Six days, seven nights' for me?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

OMFG?!?!!?

Long-Haired Bastard says:

WHAT??

Delirium says:

Yesterday morning, I saw everything but the last half hour of it, and it's driving me insane!

Delirium says:

I have to see it.

Delirium says:

I need to.

Delirium says:

It's… mandatory.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

OMG!!!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

That movie SUCKS!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

WTF?

Delirium says:

I looked for it EVERYWHERE at Walmart.

Delirium says:

No, it doesn't!

Delirium says:

Harrison Ford kicks ass in that movie!

Long-Haired Bastard says:

I am not going to soil my computer with THAT piece of shit.

Delirium says:

Fine. Fuck you.

Long-Haired Bastard says:

LOL!!!!

Good times.